Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
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I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
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ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
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