please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
