Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Randomize
