I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
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