dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Randomize
