Hey man sorry I got all grabby
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
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