Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Randomize