Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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