no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
