we have officially mastered the walk of shame
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Randomize
