i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
