I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
false alarm, still single
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
