girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
