One girl and one boy is just not enough.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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