For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Randomize
