my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
