I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
