She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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