Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
