I showed him my bush... on skype.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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