he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I just want to make out with him forever
Let's get the cat blown out
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Randomize
