is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
