Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Randomize
