ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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