i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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