She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
I just want nice things and good sex
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Holy shit dude........stairs
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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