the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
