so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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