I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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