I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Randomize
