Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Randomize
