It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Randomize