He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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