Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
