yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
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