there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
