Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
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