can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
