Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Randomize
