why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
