he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
This toilet bowl is my home.
Randomize
