I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
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