i jhust puked up my retainher.
i think my mom watched the whole time
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
