yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
