if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize