YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
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And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
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This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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