you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
