bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
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