ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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