Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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