she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
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