No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
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