I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Randomize
