Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Randomize
