she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
