ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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