bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Still dying that you shit outside
I just want to make out with him forever
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
