we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
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