East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Randomize
