You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Randomize
