I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
is wine microwaveable?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
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