he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Randomize
