there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Randomize
