I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
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