My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
I take back everything I said about communal showers
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
