I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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