she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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