You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
