I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
