Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize